The latest execution of our data visualisation posters is The Fantasy Cheaters League’s Most Cynical Foulers. Crunch!
Quite a few players hit the 20-point mark, but sliding in late to claim the title with 30-points was Chile’s defender Arturo Vidal. Ouch!
Design props go to art director and part time children’s entertainer, Gary McCheaty. You can check out more of his work at www.gazandwez.com. Boom!
This week’s poster represents our league of the filthiest teams at the 2010 World Cup, based on the average total cheaty scores of each team in relation to games played.
It seems the cheating did pay off for World Cup winners Spain, who also sit proudly at the top of our table. Is there anything the Spanish didn’t win this summer?
The reoccurring theme throughout the table seems to be that the filthiest teams were the ones that progressed further. With the exception of England who just cheated a lot and got nowhere.
Are you watching Cameroon, Korea DPR and Nigeria?
Creatives were FCL regulars Gary McCreadie, Will Miles and Wesley Hawes. Design was by Brazilian legend Juca Lopes (www.jucalopes.com).
The 2010 World Cup is over. The flags are down, the shirts have been burned (if you’re French or English) and we’re all communicating with our partners once again. Lovely. But what do we do with all the cheaty data that was captured during the tournament? Surely we don’t just let it rot with our hopes and dreams?
One word: Data Visualisation.
Each week we’ll be posting a visualisation of a particular stat. This week it’s the Biggest Divers, and was crafted by basketball superstar/interactive designer, Timothy Grout (www.theplusassociates.com). Just click the image to view in more detail.
Luis Suarez was the top cheat at the 2010 World Cup and scored 131 points. Obviously we all know this, but does he?
To ensure he understood the importance of winning such a coveted award, we decided to commission a trophy and send it to him at his club’s address in Amsterdam. As you can see, no expense was spared and the meticulous Australian craftsmanship is typical of this period.
The package also included a pair of goalie gloves and two letters of congratulations (one in English, one in Spanish).
We feverishly await his reply.
(We’ve also sent a similar trophy to Brian Setzer in Russia for winning the FCL competition. Just having some technical problems with Russian customs at the moment. There will be a new blog update once or if it reaches him.)
Enjoy.
Our ever-widening international cheating probe has uncovered dramatic news coming out of the British Primary School system. We, along with hero Pat Fay, will remain vigilant. Read the disturbing news below.
Link to full article -
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3063375/Dirty-stars-spark-pupil-footie-ban.html
The Fantasy Cheaters League would have been a much sadder site had it not been for the great sports that have played it, and helped to spread the word.
We’ve enjoyed every one of your comments, tweets and emails – both the positive and the not so positive! So from all of us here at the FCL and the awesome guys at SKINS, whose support helped us to name and shame cheats in an effort to preserve the true spirit of the game, we bring you the FCL Fan Awards….
Best Blog Comments.
Da Silva – for his impassioned and intelligently argued posts throughout the comp:
“Thanks for the table. It’s good to see the Australian, New Zealand and the rest of the Asian Confederation low on the cheating list…
…An advice, since the teams in the knockout stages are going to have more games then team that was eliminated. You should have a points per match statistic (Total Team Point/Match Played) so you can include the knock out “performances’ and adequately compare teams.
Also for future Fantasy Cheaters League. I would like to see dissent to the referee as part of the points and not just card waving. Now admittingly this would lead to the entire team getting points due to shear common act but it is against the rules and I think it’s a blight on the game.
Australia has a big problem in the retention of referees and we have a shortage of referees as most of them quit the game at the grass roots levels due to abuse they receive (hence most of our referees suck). This is because players at the grass roots see professional football players do that all the time and learn from them.
Australia despite scoring low in the cheaters league were shocking in dissent and seeing the likes of Lucas Neill complaining to the linesman for offside (even though the decision was correct) was nauseating.”
Anthony – for his foul-mouthed rant:
“what the fuck is your problems with italians to go and do this you bored cunt get a fucking life and stop being jelous stop being tough behind a computer calling us cheats and putting effort into it you low life prick”
Siobhan – for righteous academic indignation:
“Shame you didn’t mention Rory Fallon’s elbowing 3 Italian players in the face. Or did they dive without contact here? Pfft.
Regardless of whether or not De Rossi dove in the penalty box, the penalty shot was awarded for shirt pulling, which is cheating. Or is it not cheating since it was done to an Italian?
Is the whole point of this site to thinly veil your racism towards Italians? Or, more generally, your discrimination against all people whose last names end in vowels, as it states in Will Miles’ “Player to Watch” blurb here: http://www.fantasycheatersleague.com/about/
And, before you start with the “you must be Italian” rubbish, as I’ve already stated elsewhere in comments, I’m not Italian, but Irish.”
Favourite Tweets.
Nicollers1975 <https://twitter.com/Nicollers1975> ?
@CheatersLeague ?Suarez is such a diving shit bag 4:55 AM Ju <https://twitter.com/Nicollers1975/status/17592614088>
FeisalLobo <https://twitter.com/FeisalLobo> ?
@CheatersLeague ?watch Pepe odds are he doesn’t finish this game, maybe even gets in a fight if we’re lucky.
MichaelJRox <https://twitter.com/MichaelJRox> ?
@CheatersLeague Two handballs. And ref having a laugh about it. What next?
Best Facebook Comment.
Kevin McGuinness – for making us gush:
“Your blogs make my day, spent most of the world cup in work, well afternoon games anyway watching on my computer in mute, dodging the manager. Quite proud i didn’t get caught watching games at all.
IS THERE ANY POSSIBILITY OF STARTING A CHEATERS LEAGUE FOR THE PREMIERSHIP?
Even if the cheating points get racked up from say, the match of the day highlights?
Gutted this is ending 
”
And special mention to the Best Email (aside from all the lovely ones you’ve sent us!).
Wes’s Mum – for replying to our last (no-response) mail urging you lot to change up your teams for the final:
“Spain are going to win because paul the octopus predicted it.”
Thanks Dawn!
We’ll be contacting all you scumbags by email to get your contact details, as you’ve all won yourselves some SKINS™ A400 Compression Pants. Sexy Times!
Well done everyone, from all at The Fantasy Cheaters league.
2010 FCL Winner – Brian, putting the vibe out at Versailles.
All the stats are in and the leaderboard is complete. We can now proudly reveal the winner of the 2010 World Cup Fantasy Cheaters League is Brian Setzer with his dirty team, Stray Cats! We caught up with the cheating champ at home in Moscow, Russia, as he awaited the delivery of his FCL trophy and Skins A400 compression suit.
So, congratulations Brian!
Q: You’re the first ever winner of the Fantasy Cheaters League. How do you feel?
A: I’m pleased:)))
Q: Talk us through the team name first of all. Needless to say, ‘Stray Cats’ didn’t make our Top Team Name blog.
It’s my favourite music band.
Q: What were your tactics going into the competition and picking your dirty XI for the group stages?
A: I took tough players such as van bommel, mascherano and so on. But my tactic wasn’t good enough because it’s more usefull to take players who like diving
Q: Which players came in during the transfer windows and really made an impact to your team?
A: Robben and Iniesta
Q: What was your favourite cheaty moment of the tournament?
A: Suarez handball in quarter final
Nigel de Jong karate kick in final
Q: How did you make a climb up the leaderboard in the final few games, and be honest, did you check out your opponents’ teams?
A: I don’t check opponents teams. I simply look through stats section and took most cheatiest players.
Q: What advice would you give future FCL managers hoping to replicate your success?
A: Concentrate on players who dive frequently
Q: What do you make of the Ronaldo Castrol ad? You know, the one where he says: “Cheating takes me many playces. Hot playces, cold playces, medieval maces, small faces…”
A: I haven’t seen it
Q: Do you play football yourself? And if so, are you a purveyor of the dark arts?
A: Unfortunately I play football rarely. But when I play I like to cheat very much 
))
Q: Finally, where are you going to put the 2010 FCL trophy?
A: What trophy?
Sleepy Puppy
AET – Spain 1 – Holland 0
So we’ve made it. Over 60 matches marked by our statisticians, most of them done at 4am, all done to expose the dirty cheating tactic’s employed by teams so desperate to win that all dignity and fair play goes out the window.
Tonight Spain and the Netherlands meet, with the two cheaty players to watch Robben, and Iniesta going head to head.
We’ll be here marking every yard steal, dive and injury feign while live blogging as we go. Hit refresh for up to the minute updates.
Wahey – it’s the World Cup Final…
1 Min: Ooh and Busquets goes down with what looks like our first injury feign of the match – that was bloody quick!
3 min: They’ve started at an almighty pace – glad we’ve got 4 people marking this match, we’re going to have to be quick to keep up with this.
4 min: Massive dive and injury feign from Ramos, plus a cheeky yard steal from Xabi – so that’s how Spain are gonna play it.
9 min: Not as many replays taking place as usual as everything’s happening AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
13 min: Credit to Spain, making the Dutch look this pedestrian is no mean feat.
14 min: Capdevilla’s broken his leg. Medic’s on, oh no sorry he’s just a BIG GIRL. Injury feign
16 min: Robben – that’s what we’re after. Goes down with a look of absolute agony on his face after a ‘love tap’ from Puyol.
20 min: Gary just did a mini sex wee after seeing Robben do his ’special’ run down the flank. Better spell for Holland.
21 min: Howard Webb is earning his fee now – Van Bommel takes out Iniesta from behind (ha that sounds dirty)
24 min: Puyol (2nd ugliest man in football) dives and gets a pat on the back from Van Bommel in recognition of a dive well done.
27 min: Van Bronckhurst walks most of the length of the pitch with the ball in his hand for a yard steal and a half
28 min: What the FUCK was that? Really De Jong? Really? Full on karate kick to the chest of Alonso – who looks genuinely shaken up. Cheat of the Match (so far) OUCH!
31 min: In the interests of evenly spreading the cheating (thereby making our live tweeting work) Villa kindly obliges with a dive.
36 min: Van Bommel suffers a brain fart whilst right in front of goal and completely misses the ball.
41 min: Brilliant, Sneijder attempts to avoid getting in trouble with Mr Webb by injury feigning his arse off, including limping over for his inevitable dressing down from the Ref. Quality.
44 min: Dive. From Webb.
47 min: HALF-TIME 0-0. Cup of tea, power nap, finger stretch, wipe the sleep out of our eyes, and we’ll be back.
Hot Playces, Cold Playces
We’re baaaack! After that little commercial break. The SBS commentators are fucking muppets by the way.
46 min: Good solid dive from Iniesta. Noice.
47 min: Van Persie very half-heartedly tapping at Puyol, acheives nowt as Puyol throws his head (and body) at the ball regardless.
48 min: Van Bommel is walking a tightrope here. Getting away with some dirty play.
53 min: Ramos – he of the excellent headband – dives and gets Van Bronckhurst (sp?) carded. Naughty naughty. Commentators don’t agree with us – but we all know the SBS commentators know jack.
55 min: Villa is roling and crying and rolling and crying some more, clearly trying to get someone in trouble. That’s gross. Webb didn’t even look to have seen it, but fell for Villa’s theatrics. Think the commentators may be smoking crack.
57 min: Sneijder goes down like a sack of spuds – odd he’s clutching at his face. This is getting filthy.
66 min: Capdevilla gets a yellow for a cynical foul. Anyone know how many yellow’s there’s been so far. Do we think someone’s gonna get sent off?
…Sorry about that, our server went bang and our live blog died at 60 minutes. Here’s the match report for the rest of the game.
So, the pace that we thought would have subsided, didn’t. Van Bommel continued to lead the charge smashing the fook out of anything in red and teetering on the edge of fair challenge and murder. Xavi and Iniesta, the little buggers, drew fouls left right and centre, and flopped all over the place, causing havoc for the Dutch until the moment we all knew was coming: A Dutch sending off. The cards were out quicker than a…erm…the English WAGS on a shopping spree in Lakeside. And it worked ‘cos Webb fell for it. Heitinga off, Holland down to 10 and stretched like a 10-year-old Russian gymnast.
Robben, oh Robben, you need your own chapter, son. Skipping along that right wing and dancing inside, dragging three defenders in and trying to fit through a gap you wouldn’t even get one of your precious last few hairs through. Well, it worked and always ended in a dive and a face that would make even Puyol’s mum wince. Two chances then went begging for poor old Robben. Perhaps amazingly due to an indecision to dive? Who knows?
Anyway, you know the result. In summary, the pace did not let up and apart from the ‘Utter Filth’ karate kick from De Jong which Alonso reportedly had to plug with eight ‘heavy flow’ tampons, the game stayed littered with what now seem bread and butter dives. Well done to both teams. Furious would be a good word to describe that game.
Cheat of the Match: Iniesta
Report/Blogging by Candice & Gary
FT Germany 3 – Uruguay 2
You could forgive both teams for playing this game like a World Cup warm down. After all, it’s really a battle for Third Bestest Loser and besides, no one ever remembers who came third in the World Cup. Who came third in 2006? Exactly.
As if to spite the cynics, it actually turned out to be a cracker. Germany and Uruguay both scored an A+ for effort and played like they were in the actual final.
It was also a real treat to see FCL favourite, Luis Suarez, back in action after his one-match suspension. The African crowd even stopped blowing their vuvuzelas momentarily to boo his every touch, which obviously had a dramatic affect on Suarez as he kept it clean for a whole 70 minutes! Alas, his shot at redemption was extinguished towards the end of the match when he dived four times in 20 minutes. The Latino Dirty Den panto villain was back and may just have secured the FCL crown with that last ditch performance.
Also earning their FCL managers some last valuable cheaty points were Diego Lugano, who ‘did an Henry’ by handballing twice in the same move; Maxi Pereira for rugby tackling Dennis Aogo; and Thomas Muller for clocking up three dives and two injury feigns.
I was hoping this match would go to extra time as the cheating was beginning to really hot up in the last 15 minutes. Then Sami Khedira went and spoiled it all by scoring the winner. Game over.
Now all of you go and do some shark diving in False Bay. I did it and it was wicked, although you do feel a bit sea sick.
Cheat of the Match: Thomas ‘I lick the lid of life’ Muller.
As we all watched & marked the match together this morning we thought there was no harm in letting Josh from Shithouse write the match report. We were wrong.
No need for the psychic octopus now the Germans are out - photo courtesy of avlxyz
Well, what a cracker of an event. Excitement from start to finish, the lead swapping time after time, and filthy cheating the likes of which we’ve never seen. But enough about the Tour de France Stage 4.
I’ll admit I don’t know much about Soccer (or ‘Football’ as the uninitiated insist on calling it) but I’ll give this match report every ounce of my knowledge and experience.
First half:
Pedro passes to Diego who passes to Pablo who passes back to Dali who holds it for a bit and then passes to Don Quixote who kicks it over to Gaudi and the I went to the loo for a while and then came back and Pedro Almodóvar showed great ball control while Wim Wenders and Fritz Willhelm II watched in awe and then I made a cuppa and Gary adjusted the blinds but it was all for nought anyway as all it offered was a better view of fuck all.
Ozil looked particularly shocked at the fact that Spain had so much of the ball for the first half, but then he would wouldn’t he?
I’ve suffered through those insufferable vuvushitsticks for a number of games of this World Cup but the first half of this borefest took the strudel.
2nd Half:
Things started to heat up in the second 45 as the possibility of ejection from this crappy tournament was made real. Iniesta led the way with more dives than an Attenborough whale documentary, followed closely by Khedira who had trouble staying on his feet as soon as anyone entered his 2 metre ‘no touchy special zone’. Capdevilla stole a few yards and Podolski stole my heart with those deep Nordic eyes and a cynical foul that would make a Viking weep.
Still, not a lot of it made sense to me until Puyol executed an exquisite header to make it 1-Nil to the red shirts. From that point on, Iniesta fell over some more (hence his scraping in a Cheater of the Match) and Spain held a master class in beautiful box work without scoring. That’s pretty much how it ended.
So now they’ve got Wimbledon, a spot in the World Cup final and Penelope Cruz. Greedy gits.
Cheat of the Match: Iniesta
Report by Josh
