Choose 11 cheating scumbags from our squad lists. All player values are the same as nothing like this has been done before, and we’re willing to give everyone a clean slate. Except Ronaldo.

Teams work on a 4-4-2 formation.

Once you’ve selected your team, it’s going to need a name. Maximum of 20 characters please.

After submitting your team, you’ll be able to edit it up until 1 hour before the first game of the competition. After that, all you have to do is watch the games and check our website for updated stats and info.

The prize for the winner is something all the money, fame and wealth of the biggest cheat in football cannot buy – respect. Plus a specially crafted cheaters trophy we got the bloke down the road to knock up..

Please also check the site regularly, as our friends at Skins will be running competitions and giving away heaps of Skins merchandise.

You’ll be able to switch players after every stage. You can make as many changes as you want but only in the transfer windows listed below. During each stage your team will be locked.

Transfer Window 1: Now – June 11 @ 14:00
Transfer Window 2: June 25 @ 23:00 – June 26 @ 14:00
Transfer Window 3: June 29 @ 23:00 – July 02 @ 14:00
Transfer Window 4: July 03 @ 23:00 – July 06 @ 18:30
Transfer Window 5: July 07 @ 23:00 – July 10 @ 18:30

NB: All kick-offs and transfers are in British Summer Time (BST)

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Points will be awarded by our team of panelists and the website updated accordingly. That means us watching and pausing each game, sometimes at 3am. So please bear with us and if you do have a complaint, contact us and we’ll probably do nothing about it.

Here’s how the point system works.

 

When a player falls to the ground in a feeble attempt to get a free kick. Flailing arms are a dead giveaway. Often the culprit will not have been touched, but occasionally there’ll be a bit of contact. If he ‘makes a meal of it’, it’s classified a dive, end of.

When a player commits a foul that makes you wince. Or gets you out of your seat with rage. It could be a real leg-breaker or a sneaky trip on a player that’s clean through on goal. Either way it’s scandalous.

When a player goes down under a fairly innocuous challenge but clutches the wrong part of his anatomy in an attempt to fool the ref. Giveaways are peeking through their hands at the ref to see if their Oscar nominated performance has worked.

One of the sneakiest, yet seemingly unpunished cheats. Commonly used by players gaining a few yards when taking a throw-in or a free kick.

This will be determined by you and other managers through Twitter and Facebook. The player regarded with the most disgust after a game will be awarded 10 bonus points. Get in!

When a player makes a scurrilous attempt to get another booked or sent-off by rushing the ref and trying to influence his decision. Granted the opposition player may have taken their team-mate’s knee cap off, but that’s not the point.

 

A sneaky handball that the ref doesn’t see. Maradona and Thierry Henry are grand masters of this art.

We’re watching out for the keepers on this one. They’ll bang their boots against the post (come on, there’s no mud on the pitches they play on), position the ball repeatedly when taking goal-kicks and hold onto the ball far too long after claiming it. With outfield players, textbook time wasting offences include dribbling the ball to the corner flag and taking longer than necessary on throw-ins and free kicks.

When a player commits an offence so dirty that it’s beyond the realms of cheating. It’s just pure evil. Materazzi calling Zidane’s mum a slag would warrant this. So too would Ronaldo’s wink after getting Rooney sent off. Other filthy offences include spitting, head-butts, elbows, stamping, nipple tweaking and Chinese burns.

If a player commits an offence from the list above and is caught they will lose points for the resultant yellow or red card. Basically because they weren’t clever enough to get away with it.

NOTE: Only red or yellow cards that are connected to a particular cheat from the list are accountable. For instance, a player can get yellow carded for ‘persistent fouling’ but this is not covered by our points system so they won’t get the (-1pts) for a yellow card.

However, if a player commits a Cynical Foul (a professional foul or a malicious premeditated foul) AND receives a yellow card as a result, he will earn 4pts but lose 1pt for the card – leaving him with 3pts.