The ‘Cant we just go and visit Table Mountain now?’ Third-Place Playoff.

FT Germany 3 – Uruguay 2

You could forgive both teams for playing this game like a World Cup warm down. After all, it’s really a battle for Third Bestest Loser and besides, no one ever remembers who came third in the World Cup. Who came third in 2006? Exactly.

As if to spite the cynics, it actually turned out to be a cracker. Germany and Uruguay both scored an A+ for effort and played like they were in the actual final.

It was also a real treat to see FCL favourite, Luis Suarez, back in action after his one-match suspension. The African crowd even stopped blowing their vuvuzelas momentarily to boo his every touch, which obviously had a dramatic affect on Suarez as he kept it clean for a whole 70 minutes! Alas, his shot at redemption was extinguished towards the end of the match when he dived four times in 20 minutes. The Latino Dirty Den panto villain was back and may just have secured the FCL crown with that last ditch performance.

Also earning their FCL managers some last valuable cheaty points were Diego Lugano, who ‘did an Henry’ by handballing twice in the same move; Maxi Pereira for rugby tackling Dennis Aogo; and Thomas Muller for clocking up three dives and two injury feigns.

I was hoping this match would go to extra time as the cheating was beginning to really hot up in the last 15 minutes. Then Sami Khedira went and spoiled it all by scoring the winner. Game over.

Now all of you go and do some shark diving in False Bay. I did it and it was wicked, although you do feel a bit sea sick.

Cheat of the Match: Thomas ‘I lick the lid of life’ Muller.


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